Fresh mornings?

Any one who's ever been in any sort of pain knows that mornings are not their best part. Instead of feeling fresh and rejuvenated by the sleep you end up vulnerable and exposed. Sleep gives a temporary respite from the pair. But then the mornings open up the Pandora box. All those feelings that you worked hard to contain and all those accepting reality goes right out of the window. Logic and reason fail you once again.

You have no idea of how this could happen. You again start thinking, "OMG!!! How did you this happen? Is it true? Did that really happen? What do I do now? ". It's like Bella waking up screaming after Edward abandoned her and then your memory performing like Lucy's in First Fifty Dates. The only caveat being neither are Edward or Henry gonna come back as they do in the movies.

In totality all those floodgates that you worked hard to put by rationalizing with yourself is burst open by the intensity of thoughts, emotions and feelings. All your expectations of tomorrow being better than today are belied. You wonder how is that you haven't gone numb yet. How is it humanly possible that you feel things? How is it possible to maintain your sanity?

You put up with the pain. You console yourself. Say to yourself it's okay. It's not the end of the world. Think of reasons why you should stay alive. Think of reasons why you should continue. You try to focus on the good things. You blame yourself for all this pain and misery. Later after some hard rationalizations, you understand it's time to blame someone else for all the pain, suffering and misery. If you don't get any scapegoats you pin it down on FATE.

The day goes on as if you are spending it only for the sake of getting through to the comforting lull that a good sleep can give. After the sleep, the cycle of memories, feelings, pain, rationalizations, acceptance and grief go on. What is perhaps worse is that there seems to be no end to this cycle and time seems not to dampen the after effects of the pain.

But remember, things will get better.

The night is always darkest before the dawn.

This too shall pass.

Never forget that only dead fishes swim with the water.

The only tough day was yesterday.

Tomorrow never dies(but you may). 

But before you give up, remember that all this pain and suffering should make you strong. At least in theory that's what's supposed to happen. You ought to become immune to it. Your body ought to develop resistance to it. So never ever give up. Remember Nietzsche's quote, "That what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 

If you ever feel like giving up recall why you held on for so long. Remember that you are best equipped to handle the crisis. You have been dealing with it for so long. No harm might come if you pass through one more day. Just take it one day at a time.  The worst is over, the best is yet to come. Go on, do not give up. Everyone's fighting their battles. You have to fight yours. Your friends relatives they can only be supportive to a certain extent. You should act. You are responsible. You are the one who should shape your destiny. 

Nothing in life is the end until you call it end. There's definitely someone who has been through worse and if they could handle it technically you too should have the capability to handle it. Lastly remember that, deaths transfer the pain from the dead to the living(the near and dear of them). So, if you ever think about quiting, console yourself. Now that you have visualized the end, you can visualize rebirth as well. Be born anew, be born afresh. 

If you have had the courage to think about your death, use the same to think about living. You surely have been brave to continue so far, carry on. 

WE are all scared and scarred. Nobody life is perfect. Take everything with a pinch of salt. As, Kipling put it aptly, treat both the impostors of triumph and disaster equally. Life goes on(with you/ without you). Yet, it's no harm to stick around to see what's gonna happen. Especially since the worst has already happened to you, nothing more bad can happen. So you are relatively safer than the others in this world. 

A little vodka and poetry sure do help, take some:

If— 

BY RUDYARD KIPLING

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!